Sunday, February 5, 2012

I like crap

This is an unavoidable truth of my condition. I adore eating crap. Crap is delicious in its crappiness. Deep fried, cheesy, drenched in some kind of drool worthy sauce and washed down with diet soda. I love it. What crap IS is tasty. What crap isn't is conducive to you being alive very long.

I kinda like being alive.

I haven't tried the alternative, but I can almost certainly assure you that it can't be nearly as fun as being alive.

Clay and I were watching Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and all of the sudden a bell went off in my crap-eating head. I am killing myself. All of my B.S. excuses for not getting healthy (valid, invalid, and whatever) were all ending in the same result: me dying.

I'm 36, I am diabetic. I am on 3 different medications for diabetes, one for cholesterol, two for migraines. I am over 200lbs and I am dying. So tell me, crap...whatever shall we do?

Crap and I parted ways a week ago. Dairy, processed foods, bread, grain and meat...all gone. I have been wholly, unwaveringly vegan for a week. I am down 9lbs, already had to stop taking one of my blood sugar meds due to a pretty intense near-blackout hypoglycemia moment. One week, and I have dumped a medication.

That's pretty telling, if you ask me.

The vegan thing is partially a reboot green juice fast, partially a Standard Process purification cleanse (as suggested by my awesome business partner). It is also me eating whole, mostly raw fruits and vegetables and juices made from the same. I've only cooked two soups in the past week and ate this today for lunch:
That? Is a spinach, basil, carrot, mushroom, tomato salad with a squeeze of lemon and some Persian lime olive oil. And you want to know what?

I loved it.

It was washed down with green apple carrot juice. I loved that, too.

The vegan thing will not be a permanent life change. Partially because I love cheese and partially because chickens are abysmally stupid and delicious, which is the perfect storm for something meant to be food. Stupid + tasty= get in mah bellah.

But for now? It's me and my vegetable and fruit friends. We are getting familiar.

Green Apple Carrot Juice:

two large green apples
three carrots
1/2 cup cold water

clean and prep appropriately, put into your juicer, juice, drink.

Next I shall regale you with my spinach mushroom soup. Dude, I finally had a reason to use my immersion blender. This vegan thing is alright.


  1. You. Make. Me. Happy.
    This makes me euphoric. To your health, I say.

  2. That is fantastic!
    I would really like for you to be around for a long time - well, both of us, actually. :)

  3. Yes: completely selfishly, I'd like you around for many, many years. Perhaps I should get on keeping myself that way, too.


  4. "chickens are abysmally stupid and delicious, which is the perfect storm for something meant to be food. "

    bwahahaha. proof that crap isn't what fueled your funny.

    I haven't had a cigarette in 3 weeks. I'm only just now happy about it.

    Love you.

  5. Christine! You are simply amazing and I love you for that.
    I am in awe!
    Rock on Lady,

  6. It's going to stink not flinging pizza at you. Adaptation, you naughty minx, you.

    Ps: I want a juicer.


    1. I am so proud of you. Ridiculously, stoopit proud.
      I love you.

  7. So damn proud of you. I love you and want you around until we're old and crazy. Er.

    And I want to join you in this.

  8. you are so awesome, love. it was funny to wake up and read this as today is my first day of a cleanse, too. i am not all that disciplined but i know sugar and white flour HAVE to be booted for a couple weeks at least. i don't have a juicer, but lots of green smoothies are on the horizon! xo

  9. Red wine *is* a juice, though, right?

    Seriously, I'm with you! It's frustrating to know what the healthy choice is and not to make it. I've been going to doctors since September and none of them have helped me. I know it comes down to diet and exercise being the keys to feeling better.

  10. Also - oven roasted kale. It comes out like chips (sorta). My kids are crazy for it and kale is super nutritious.

  11. What Liv said. I want a juicer.

    I'm so excited for you!!

  12. I've actually been following along a little on FB and I've been so curious what you're up to, I almost emailed you about it specifically--and then I got this message. I'm stoked to follow along with you, I find it all really interesting. Maybe I'll even follow suit, if it's not too awful. ;p

    Love to you.

  13. Holy AmazeBalls, you are quite possibly the coolest person I know. I know you are doing this for you, but I need some healthy inspiration right now! I am rooting for you and am excited about this journey. I am also excited about that salad, I can't believe wholesome could look so appetizing!

  14. Good on you. Also, you inspired me to look up juice fast programs.

  15. That salad .. and you .. excellent stuff. And already seeing results with your blood sugar meds? Hooray for you! Fasting does seems like the way to go to get off the crap. I hear so many testimonials.