Sunday, February 12, 2012


Here's the thing about soup. It either kicks ass, or it sucks..other parts. This, my friends is a tale of two soups.

This one kicks ass.

This one sucks, well..something.

I've jumped off the cleanse train a couple of times, and haven't really loved how I felt when I did. But, I forgave myself the flub and moved on because you know what this is?


I will eat other things in life beside giant, leafy salads and soup. I will have chips again in life. I haven't destroyed all of my hard work by eating something terrible: in moderation. Holy crap! In moderation! Yeah, so, that.

Super Bowl Sunday, even though I didn't give a flying rat's bung about the game, I wanted chips and guacamole. I settled for roasted kale and that green monstrosity up there. Said green monstrosity is spinach and mushroom soup.

It was one of the most hideous things I've ever eaten. That very well is partially my fault. Thoroughly cleaning leeks is a laborious task and one at which I clearly blow. So, that soup was a gritty, slimy, disgusting trainwreck that took me all day to make. So, I ate it. It was gross. Here's the recipe.

Shitty Ass Spinach and Mushroom Soup

1.5lbs of mixed mushrooms ( I used cremini and portobello)
2 cups of spinach
1 box of vegetable broth
2 cloves of garlic
2 teaspoons of red pepper flake

Please, for all that is good and pure, wash the ever loving hell out of your leeks. If you don't, this soup will be horrid and it will be your fault. After washing, chop those suckers up and saute in olive oil, add garlic once leeks are wilted. Brush, clean, and chop your mushrooms, add it into your pot. The mushrooms will expel a ton of liquid, keep cooking them down until the liquid evaporates and the mushrooms start to brown. Add your broth, turn the heat to low, add in your spinach and pepper flake. Simmer for about 20 minutes. Take half of the soup and put it in your blender and blend it smooth. Add that back to your soup pot.

Even without grit, I seriously hated the hell out of this soup. The color, the texture and the smell all grossed me the hell out. Enjoy!

Curried Carrot Soup

2 lbs of carrots, scrubbed.
1/2 sweet potato (not yam, they are not the same)
1 medium yellow onion
6 cloves of garlic
a buttload (that is SO a unit of measurement.) of Madras Curry Powder
1 box vegetable broth
1 cinnamon stick
3 cloves
salt and pepper to taste

Saute your onions in olive oil until translucent, then add your garlic cloves. Once you've added garlic cloves, add some curry powder. I don't know how much. If you like curry, then add a bunch. If not, then not so much. Once you smell the garlic, turn the heat to medium and add your broth then dump in your carrots and your 1/2 sweet potato (with the skin on), the cloves and cinnamon stick. Cover and simmer until carrots and sweet potato are soft. Fish out your cinnamon stick and cloves and pull out the sweet potato. Take the skin off the sweet potato and put it in your blender. Carefully pour the soup into your blender and blend until smooth. Or, use your immersion blender.

My first reaction upon tasting this was "bleh". It was really sweet and boring. I wanted a more Indian flavor and more of a savory (I really hate that word) note. I mixed in more salt, more curry powder and a pretty healthy dose of cracked black pepper. That made it AWESOME. I will be eating this with a huge salad for lunch this week. Not a bad way to be vegan, kids. It's not pork, but it sure is good.

Not that spinach mushroom thing, though. That was just a crapfest.


  1. Oh my Hell. Your review of the Spinach Mushroom soup had me laughing so hard I cried.. and woke my husband. He made me read it to him since it had me cracking up. Thank God he's a good sport.

    Imma try that carrot soup! It sounds AWESOME!

  2. The first soup looks like delicious happiness in a bowl.

    The second one looks like vomit. I don't know how you ate it!

    Are you losing weight on this diet? I so need to lose about 40 lbs.

  3. i make a similar carrot soup but add a can of crushed pineapple. i know it sounds weird but it ROCKS!

  4. HAHA, I have made soups that fall into both categories...I just need to look at Mark's face during the first bite to know what the classification will be! Leeks do kinda suck, I usually wash them, cut them and then soak them in a big bowl of water to ensure grit removal. In fact, now that I think of it, I usually don't use leeks in soup and instead use them in veggie stir-fry-type dishes, which is better somehow... Glad you are trying new recipes, though, I think mixing it up is the key to success! I want to try that carrot soup asap as well.

  5. The carrot soup looks awesome! The spinach and mushroom... ew. Ew, ew. And I love leeks, but ewwwwww.

  6. Hint: Peel the outside off the leeks. Chop off any obviously dirty parts. Rinse. Slice in half. Chop. NOW put them in a colander (I use the salad spinner basket, fill the spinner with water, then lift the basket out) and wash the hell out of them.

  7. I'll try to remember to send you my minestrone recipe.